The last feeding of the day is, hands down, my favorite feeding of the day. The lights are low and Gracie is generally cuddly. Last night, in particular, was a favorite of mine. Gracie was very sleepy while eating. It seemed like she had finished eating but to be sure I offered her the bottle one more time. Her lips were very contentedly pressed shut as I put the bottle against them. As I pulled the bottle away she opened her mouth in a smile, all the while continuing to sleep. I held her close and whispered a prayer consisting of thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t believe she is mine.
I get nervous when laying Gracie down for a nap just because I am not sure if she will start crying or not as soon as she realizes what is happening. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, like today, this is what happens: I’ve sat and rocked for a minute with her, long enough to see she is ready to start nodding off. She is working hard in her pacifier and with every suckle she seems closer to sleep. I get up and start to lay her down, the pacifier falls out. I keep my hand under her belly and with the other hand I reach to put the pacifier back in her mouth. As I am doing this she is making quiet grunting noises, not in a protest of sleep, but rather because she wants to lay her head down. With the pacifier securely in her mouth, I slide my hand out from under her and her head hits the mattress and her eyes shut, as if she was longing for sleep.
This is our lovely little home. We closed on it the same day we saw our baby for the first time. April 16, 2013 was a big day for us to say the least. What is not so lovely are the paint colors the former owners chose. Bright orange, anyone? Buying a house has been keeping us busy for sure and I’m excited to be able to document all of the fabulous changes we are making as we go.
I don’t know if it is just me, but the holiday can often be a time when I dwell on everything in my life that I would like to change. Ironically, I end up thinking about everything I am not thankful for. In an attempt to combat my ungrateful spirit, here is a list of what I am thankful for. In no particular order.
- My car. It is paid for and it is a tank. I ran over (yes, over) a deer a few days ago and my car was not damaged in the least.
- A job. Not only that, a job I enjoy most days. I am thankful for having some really great coworkers that make the job even better.
- A roof over our heads. Even better, some well insulated walls to boot. I am more thankful than ever to live in an apartment that is energy efficient.
- Family. I am blessed with some pretty good in-laws, and I know I came out ahead on that trade off.
- Last but certainly not least, Seth. He is the reason that I can continue to be thankful most days. Every year that I am with him, I love the holidays a little bit more. Which is no small thing, since it use to be the most dreaded time of year for me. He loves me in a way I cannot understand, I don’t know what I’d do without him.
There are so many things going on in my brain right now, but not a one of them is substantial enough for its own post.
1. I closed my first case last week. This was obviously a joyous occasion, but it doesn’t really equate to less work. By the time cases get to a point we are recommending they close I probably spend 1-2 hours each month, depending on the number of kiddos involved. Despite the fact that my workload isn’t really decreasing any, I was ecstatic that the case closed. I did a lot of work up to that point to keep the kids stable in their home. Not to mention, the report I wrote that convinced even the toughest critics that this father can adequately parent. Yes, I am pretty proud of myself, but even more I am proud of this family and the strength and perseverance they showed me.
2. I downloaded iOS 6 and I’ve noticed it really drains my battery. I am hoping since I turned off location services my battery life will improve. Or it could be that there is almost always an app update loading. Either way, not cool. #firstworldproblems
3. I’ve worked more overtime in the last two weeks than I ever have. If I worked in any other industry I would be making mad money, but instead I am a social worker and I get paid in hugs. My job is great in that I can usually flex my hours and just come in late if I know I will be working late. Unfortunately I have had so much going on I can’t “just come in later” because I would probably have a panic attack just thinking about the work I should be doing. So instead I continue to go in at 9 (or earlier) and work until 6 (or later). One day this week I worked 12 hours. Not cool. I still came in at 9 the next day.
4. Every time I try to type “worked,” I end up typing “worker.” I use the word “worker” about a gagillion times per case note.
5. The weather transition to fall was NOT a transition. It’s like I woke up this week and BAM! It’s fall! What the heck? I am enjoying the cooler temperatures and enjoying getting to wear sweaters and jackets. It’s like I have a new wardrobe again. Also, I enjoy giving the air conditioner a break.
6. I worked from Starbucks on wednesday and I felt like everyone in the place was judging me on my ancient Dell laptop. I really wanted to tell them “I have a macbook at home.” But I think if I had been there with my 4 year old macbook, they would have been judging me anyway. A 4 yr old laptop is ancient no matter what brand. At least with my mac I would have felt more hip and trendy. Ha!
I have determined that children are excellent blogging fodder. See below please :)
Two year old boy, playing near the fridge: “Mom! Mom! Mom! It’s trying to get me!”
Mom: “What is?”
Child: “The ‘fridgerator!”
Two boys, age four, playing together. They have a disagreement. One says to the other, “don’t be a wet noodle!”
I just love my kiddos. The funny things they say and the hugs they give make the long days and late nights worth it.
One of the perks of having a job (and thus a second income) means that we can afford to move somewhere with more space.
This past weekend we did just that. We moved a block away into the most fabulous apartment I ever did lay eyes on. We’re in love.