Sometimes I struggle with being an authentic person. I am self aware enough to realize that I am often different things to different people. I am quite sure that I caught myself lying, or at least not telling the whole truth, on at least two occasions. And that was just in the last week. The thing is, I have access to a lot of information as a case manager…and to divulge that information to certain people would make my job infinitely challenging. Maybe I am just being lazy. I don’t know.
I just realized another time in the last week I straight up lied while I was working. Awesome. In this case it was to protect a foster parent from undue stress and general freak out. So sometimes I lie to protect others and sometimes I lie to protect myself. Still doesn’t make it ok. Doesn’t mean I am going to stop. Part of the problem is not having a crystal ball to know how different scenarios are going to play out. If I were to fully disclose the truth it could lead me into a dangerous area of making promises that I would have no way to keep.
Yet, I am a Christian and I know I should not be lying. The problem is, I cannot contain my seemingly harmless lies contained only to my work self. The little lies start to seep into the rest of my life. At least I tell the truth when I am put on the stand in court….