This past week I was in training. I didn’t really learn anything, but I did watch a lot of dated videos.
Most of the people in class were young, single women. And as silly as it sounds, I started to miss being single. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. Truth be told, right after I had actually come to terms with being single–I met Seth. Ironic. So there I was thinking about how I wished I would have used that time a little more wisely instead of wishing it away. It got me thinking about other times in my life where I had done the same thing, and maybe how I might be doing that right now, even as I was sitting in training.
My internship in Thailand is a prime example of wishing time away. While I did learn a lot about myself during those four months, I could have really spent more time growing in my faith. Instead I wallowed in how miserable I was, how mean my day to day supervisor was, and how isolated I felt. I could have used that time to grow even deeper in my faith and looking back I see what a loss that time was. But I still don’t want to go back….
So I am sitting in training, waffling back and forth between wishing I could go back to being single and wishing I could fast forward to being a supervisor, like some of the other people in class. And it is then I realize I am doing it again. I’m wishing I could go back, which is ludicrous because that can’t even happen. Yet at the same time I want to speed ahead a few years and get the promotion and while I’m at it I might as well just have a few kids. And I can’t make those things happen either, at least not instantly.
So I must resolve to be content with where I am right now. I must work diligently toward my goals, but not lose sight of the blessings I have in front of me right now.